Show, Don’t Tell

Never argue. In society nothing must be discussed; give only results. ~ Benjamin Disraeli

When I catch myself pushing an issue with someone, I have to pause in my mind and say, “Stop the script.” Instead of acting out of the habit or reaction, I have to look at the situation. I can’t say it happens successfully all the time, but it has been a great tool to help me get back to effectiveness rather than merely serving my ego.

There’s usually a way to show you are right rather than have to tell someone they are wrong. Telling puts the other person on the defensive. Their script will also play out in reaction defensiveness. There’s no sense there.

Perhaps there is a problem that you know the answer to. The packaging of how this is presented needs to be carefully handled. Setting up a way where the visual can tell the story altogether avoids a recipient from digging in their heels from having to hear the truth and removes you from the situation from being the perpetrator.

If you find yourself in that freight train momentum in a conversation realizing it is not getting anywhere, the stop the script, withdraw and approach the issue by showing not telling. It not only works, it wins you friends.